OREM, Utah — The attempted assassination of conservative activist Charlie Kirk is drawing condemnation across the board for the shooter’s inability to hit a giant target, sources confirmed.

“Not sure how you miss that one. You should be able to hit Charlie’s head from 1,200 yards while running at full speed. It’s actually more impressive that he hit the guy anywhere other than his head. Sometimes I imagine what Charlie’s shampoo bill must be like and I actually feel bad for him,” said Perry Landers, a gun range owner from Denton, Texas. “Situations like this just remind me that more people need firearms training. It’s not difficult to become a good shot if you practice a little. The results will speak for themselves.”

At press time, doctors admitted they were having trouble getting Kirk’

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