OREM, Utah — Conservative activist and noted anti-vaxxer Charlie Kirk finally received a shot while delivering a speech in front of brainwashed students at Utah Valley University earlier today, sources confirmed.

“He was on stage talking about gang violence when all of a sudden his head jerked around and he fell to the floor. I knew immediately it was because of the nanobots in the mRNA vaccines,” said Turning Point USA member Eli Jennings. “There is no way a beautiful American bullet that is worshipped in the U.S. Constitution would do something like this to Charlie. This is obviously the work of scientists who are trying to eradicate communicable diseases, and we will not forget.”

At press time, California Governor Gavin Newsom condemned the shooting because he was hoping to have Kirk

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