IS YOUR Conservative MP brightening from dark blue to light? Does he miss old pals like Danny Kruger and Nadine Dorries? Find out:

Listlessness

Does your member find it hard to get up in the mornings? Is he still in pyjamas at 2pm because ‘what’s the point when we’re not in government?’ Do you find him watching GB News saying ‘I was on this when I was junior undersecretary for transport in the Truss administration, now I’m nobody’? This is often the first sign of political realignment.

Non-attendance of debates

If your MP is so out of touch with his lobbyists he no longer attends debates, be concerned. It may be that Kemi Badenoch’s speeches no longer give him his familiar right-wing high and he is beginning to crave more powerful rhetoric. At this stage you can still reverse course by

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