Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here . (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Pay Dirt,

I have an ethical question about blame. My ex got paid under the table by his parents’ large family business, and used this to avoid child support for almost six years. This situation was kind of an open secret in our area. My ex’s brother started doing the same thing a few years ago. It sucked, but there wasn’t much I could do about it because I was broke and trying to tread water for my kids after the divorce. His family is a big deal in our county and his cousin is close friends with my landlord, so I didn’t want to make waves. Finally, I had my own life together enough and realized I could report the situation to the IRS. It took a long time, but

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