CLEVELAND, Oh - My former mother-in-law just passed. I was married to her son for 18 years, and we were relatively close during that time. Now, my ex and I have been divorced for five years. It was a bad divorce, and most of his family turned against me — including his mother. Do I go to the wake or the funeral (or both)?

I would go to support my teen children in their grief. However, I worry that it would create too many hard feelings with others in the family. I want to pay my respects and support my children, but I don’t want to bring negativity to the events.

ANSWER: I’m glad that you are taking everyone’s feelings into account. Since your children are teenagers, it is normal that they would want you with them for support and comfort. Death is difficult, and it can be more so for ch

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