Key points

Because emotional blackmail involves feelings and people we love, it can be hard to identify.

Emotional blackmail can change us in deep and lasting ways.

Real-life examples of emotional blackmail can help us recognize it in our own lives.

Blackmail is illegal. It is illegal because it is a form of extortion. Extortion intends to gain something from someone through threats of violence, loss of reputation, or some other form of harm. Typically, what the blackmailer wants to gain is money, power, or prestige.

Blackmail uses coercion, threats, bullying —forms of control meant to force someone to do something. Emotional blackmail is the same. A person uses emotional coercion to force another person, with whom he is in a significant relationship, to do, say, think, feel, or bel

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