SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Twitter CEO Elon Musk announced Wednesday he would be opening an exclusive company cafeteria that would sell items for $8.00 each, reversing an earlier policy in which free delicacies were lovingly spooned directly into the mouths of employees by an on-call wait staff.

"Twitter is losing millions of dollars a day. We can't keep giving away food," Musk said in a company-wide e-mail. "Support your own paycheck by buying the new Musk Meatball Sub in the company cafeteria!"

Musk's message continued, "I know you can afford 8 bucks for lunch. That's exactly how much you've been paying for fancy coffee drinks every morning ever since I got rid of the barista."

Employees immediately took to Twitter to disparage the announcement. "He is literally asking us to starve to death,

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