New Evidence Suggests Second Amendment Was All Just Satire

WASHINGTON, DC

Historians at a prominent American university have uncovered evidence that may radically alter our perception of the supposed “right to keep and bear arms.” According to recently uncovered documents, the entire Second Amendment was meant as satire.

“I’m certain that future generations will see the Second Amendment for the brilliant joke that it is,” said an overly confident Thomas Jefferson in his recently uncovered diary. “It’s rather amusing, I must say, and so obviously satirical that I cannot fathom any scenario whereby future generations will judge it beneficial to the welfare of the nation for general members of the public to possess whatever weapons they see fit. I mean, that would be friggin’ nuts.”

Apparently, the Founding Fathers threw the Second Amendment in th