WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a brief statement to reporters following the Super Tuesday contests, a victorious President Joe Biden congratulated his opponent on a hard-fought primary race.
"I'd like to thank this fella here," Biden said, gesturing to the empty void on his right. "He put up a strong fight. One of the toughest. He showed a lot of… a lot of… so much of the characteristics of the… so much of… all of those things. Even though I came out on top, I know I can count on him to keep fighting hard to help me get re-elected. He is a perfect example of all the folks who support me. Four years ago, I had millions and billions… hundreds of… millions of thousands of folks just like him who voted for me."
The president, who appeared on stage with his gracious opponent, offered a conciliatory ha