FARGO — So can we come out of our bunkers now? Or do we have to wait until city commissioners Dave Piepkorn and Michelle Turnberg give the all-clear?

Cops say crime is down in Fargo-Moorhead and that includes downtown Fargo, where if you listen to Piepkorn and Turnberg, you’d think it’s filled with dangerous killer zombies and flying lead, unfit for women, children and men who like their Old Fashioneds with just a pinch of Demerara.

Thankfully, this should keep the president from sending in his shock troops to quell the uprisings among … check notes … a few dozen homeless people who make life uncomfortable for those who prefer their lives to be lived on a “Leave it to Beaver” set.

Of course, the news that all reasonable people already knew — that Fargo-Moorhead is a safe community wher

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