Pillow Talk is a series that deciphers our mixed signals about sex—who’s actually having it, who isn’t, and why—one interview at a time. Get in touch to suggest a subject.

This week, we meet Tam, a 34-year-old tantric practitioner in Colorado who gets paid to “exchange energy” with her clients via a protracted and increasingly erotic massage. But although it’s her job to bring them pleasure, she is often the one who walks away glowing. This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Slate: First of all, what is tantric massage? Walk me through a session.

Tam: I’m not the biggest expert on this, actually. There are plenty of people who have years of training in tantra, and who practice a very different style than I do. But for me, it’s a combination of tantric techniq

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