BETHANY — Scholars working in the Holy Land learned an interesting tidbit today: the woman who anointed Jesus with oil - Mary of Bethany, a Bethany-dwelling woman whose name was Mary - actually performed the act of worship during an extended sales presentation for essential oils.

Mary's friend - Simon the leper, a man named Simon who had leprosy - had agreed to host the event several days prior, and Mary set about sending out evites to her "fun and exciting night of fellowship." The invitation, of course, contained no indication that the three-hour event would actually be a sales pitch.

"OK, who wants to try out the new lavender-lemon blend?" Mary asked, causing an awkward silence to ensue. Like a sheep before his shearers, Jesus too remained silent in the face of such a stilted and unco

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