FRISCO, Texas — When it comes to the safety position in Dallas, the Cowboys got no food, no jobs and their pets' heads are falling off. Let that classic line from Lloyd of Dumb and Dumber sink in for a moment, because it's terrifyingly accurate in its description of the back end of the Cowboys' defense heading into Week 9 of the 2025 season.

The unit started the season as one of the deepest on the roster but, eight games into the season, it's not only the thinnest, it's damn one injury away from being almost literally nonexistent — following news of Alijah Clark, the rookie safety suffering an injury to his ribs in the loss to the Denver Broncos that will sideline him "a couple of weeks".

If you're reading this, and you're able-bodied, the Cowboys are hiring safeties.

As it stands, Mar

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