A month ago, I wouldn’t have believed you if you told me Alan Carr would be the winner of The Celebrity Traitors . The same Alan Carr who was a sweaty nervous wreck the moment Claudia tapped him on the shoulder? The same Alan Carr who couldn’t get through the sentence “I am a Faithful” without bursting into laughter? And yet there he stood, at the end of last night’s final , with £87,500 on its way to Neuroblastoma UK in his name. I couldn’t help but cry along with him.

But it wasn’t Alan’s scheming or lying that sealed his win. It was lovely Nick Mohammed’s betrayal of his best mate Joe Marler that paved the way for the last Traitor to steal the cash. By unknowingly siding with a Traitor, he joined Alan and fellow Faithful David Olusoga in voting out Joe, mistaking him for th

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