Parent advice: I've just had a baby. It's making me see what my parents did to me in a whole new, painful light.

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My husband and I had our son about six months ago, and I’m reconsidering letting my parents meet him over the holidays as planned.

Both my parents smoke, and although they have agreed to wear new clothes they put on just before they meet him so that their clothing doesn’t reek of smoke, I am finding that I can’t stop thinking about health and safety issues around their smoking in my own childhood. I know that the type of get-together we’ve planned will not harm my baby. But that doesn’t ease my mind.

The fact is that my brother has a scar on his neck from cigarette ash that burned him when he was a baby, and I was sick throughout my childhood with