Key points

"Hedonic monitoring" or constantly checking if we're happy paradoxically reduces happiness.

Happiness often requires subtraction—removing unrealistic expectations and compulsive caregiving patterns.

Happiness is less a state to maintain and more the capacity to feel without flinching.

I'm in Costa Rica, sweating through my shirt, and my friend (who's a psychiatrist, which sometimes makes conversations feel like ambush therapy ) asks me what happiness is.

I was mid-bite of something. Mango, maybe. I don't remember. What I remember is feeling confused by the question, which is strange because I think about happiness constantly. I've probably thought about it more than anyone should. But hearing it out loud, from her, while I'm trying to enjoy a perfectly good piece of fru

See Full Page