WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House and GOP announced a deal has been reached on the debt ceiling after Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy offered Biden two entire pints of chocolate chip ice cream.

"Biden almost budged for a waffle cone of vanilla," said White House aide Lacie Rogers. "When McCarthy came back with two pints of chocolate chip, it was game over."

After a months-long standoff over raising the government's debt limit, McCarthy decided to shift strategies with the clock winding down. "We literally needed a trillion-dollar breakthrough," said Speaker McCarthy. "That's when I heard the President's tummy rumble, and decided to call the 'Dairy Godmother'. I had to shoot my shot."

Although agreed to in principle, the debt ceiling deal must still pass through Congress. "Two pints

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