Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

I have a 17-year-old son, “Josh.” He boxes, as does his boyfriend “Aiden.” Over the weekend, both competed and made it to the finals. They were amused by it; whoever won would get first place, and the other, second. I go to about half of Josh’s competitions, and I could tell that he didn’t hold back against Aiden.

By the end of three rounds, both were bleeding and visibly slower. The judges called it for Aiden. They shook hands, kissed, and went off together to discuss technique.

Josh insists that what happens in the ring stays in the ring, that it’s healthy competition. Also, they met through boxing, this dynamic isn’t new. I don’t want to police

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