Merry Christmas, everyone. Gather the kids by the fire and play this original poem so they can remember the true reason for the season: winning the culture war.

'Twas The War On Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas; the battle was waged,

This holiday was not all-inclusive, they raged.

Landmines were buried under piles of snow,

Waiting for orthodox statements of faith; then, they'd blow.

Christian soldiers lay traumatized, half of them dead,

As visions of Starbucks cups flashed in their heads.

On a Satanic banner of blasphemous disgrace,

They took Christ out of Christmas, put an X in his place.

Nativity scenes, now scenes of horror and destruction,

And the ACLU's onslaught of liberal corruption.

They tore down their green and red decorations,

Replaced them with rainbow fl

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