U.S. - According to multiple, increasingly tired sources across the United States and around the world, the annual celebration that requires you to stay up past midnight is far less appealing once you turn thirty.

Partygoers across the country in their mid-30s confirmed that the further they got from their 20s, the less and less appealing the holiday celebration seemed.

"Staying up 'til 12? You mean 12 AM ?!" asked one incredulous source in Ohio. "That's like... wait, the big hand is hours... no, wait, minutes?... that's like two hours from now! Ugh, I'll never make it."

Various attempts have been made to make the holiday more palatable, such as turning all the clocks ahead and celebrating at 6 pm local time, and just washing down a couple of melatonin with some whiskey, and calling i

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