BLUE SPRINGS, MO — Authorities have advised the public to be on the lookout due to an obviously sociopathic friend of yours who may be calling you just to talk. Officials warn that this type of action from your friend is a clear indication that they are, in fact, a total weirdo.
"Why would my friend do that?" asked John Garrett upon learning the news. "More importantly, why would I want to be friends with someone who…you know…wants to like, call me and stuff. That's just…weird. Why would he…why?"
Garrett's friend, a now-suspected sociopath identified as one Brad Jones, is believed to be wanting to call John up "just to chat for a bit." As the news spread among John's family and other friends, their concern about Brad's mental state grew. "That's just not normal," said John's wife, Eric