SAN FRANCISCO, CA — On the freshly scented avenues of San Francisco, a summit was held today between one of the most feared communist dictators in the world and President Xi.

"Glorious, Most Excellent Chairman, meet President Xi," said aides as Gavin Newsom shook hands with President Xi. "Please allow us to escort you through the streets of our communist utopia, freshly cleaned of poo and poors."

The iron-fisted tyrant showed Mr. Xi around San Francisco, pointing out all the private property he had seized or destroyed. "The truly satisfying part is when you openly show how the rules crushing their lives do not apply to you," explained Newsom. "Yes, Mr. Xi - you are far too soft psychologically on your subjects, trying to sell them on the idea that you are all serving a common cause in un

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