How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here . It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I was reading through my boyfriend’s FetLife profile and writings, and it’s concerning me. He claims to be Dominant, but he’s really not. He says that he prefers women who are petite and flat-chested. He also talks a lot about how much he loves to give oral sex to women, and he wants his women to be willing to swing with him.

I have been with him for six years, and I can’t give him any of that! It makes me wonder why he’s even with me. We recently had a brief breakup, and he told me he would give all that stuff up if he could be with me, but I am doubtful. I don’t really trust that he has much self-awareness.

Do you think we have any chanc

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