Restaurant reviews by Justin Tanner, our retired food critic, who’d be watching more of Masterchef if they’d left in the bits where Gregg grabs the contestants’ arses.

I’M off on holiday. It’s been a while and a mate down the pub told me Sorrento is pretty upmarket. As a discerning chap, I wanted my first time in Eyetie Land to be classy.

Only it’s apparent upon arrival that it’s only ‘upmarket’ if your usual holiday abroad begins with a flight to bloody Alicante. A brief amble around the tourist shops is enough to conclude I’m in Italy’s equivalent of Blackpool.

Plastic Virgin Marys seem to be a local obsession. They’re on sale everywhere, though God only knows who’s buying this shit. And ashtrays with paintings of lemons on. They’re obsessed with lemons too. Acting like they invented

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