Key points

Disconnection begins the moment we stop being present.

When needs—like affection or support—go unspoken, resentment builds.

Set “tech-free” moments to reconnect.

After 35 years as a sexologist, I’ve seen the subtle ways couples drift apart—and it often starts far earlier than they realize. My TEDx talk, “What Happened to Sex in Our Relationships” and my book Erotic Integrity uncover a truth: Disconnection doesn’t erupt overnight. It creeps in quietly, like a fog settling over a once-vibrant landscape, and understanding its origin is the first step to reclaiming intimacy .

Disconnection begins the moment we stop being present. It might start with a busy life—new jobs, kids, or endless to-do lists—where a quick “How was your day?” turns into a distracted nod.

I’ve he

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