WATERLOO, ON

Eleanor Funk, 71, has been working tirelessly all day chopping cabbage and mixing it with carrots, lemon juice, mayonnaise, and vinegar in preparation for tomorrow’s delightful Funk Easter gathering in which not a single person will touch the coleslaw.

“I’m a realist. I know no one will eat it. I make it just to give the appearance of a well-balanced meal,” said Funk. “It’s the same thing with my bean salad.”

With a fresh baked ham, mashed potatoes, cream corn, and brightly coloured paska buns, it’s no wonder the coleslaw gets neglected.

“It’s unfair, really, for the coleslaw to be ignored like that, just because there are more delicious looking options,” said Funk. “It was the same way for me at the church Young Peoples group in the 60s until I found my Peter.”

Despite t

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