TUCSON, AZ — Local husband Ryan Masterson denied having consumed any radioactive Walmart shrimp, though his wife had her doubts due to his entire body emitting a soft neon green glow.

Masterson continued to maintain his innocence, despite also growing a third ear.

"Nope, wasn't me," said Masterson, as his wife queried him about the missing shrimp. "I know you texted me and said not to eat them, so of course I listened. Yes, I know I'm glowing a little green and am starting to develop gills. That just happens to me sometimes. It's a mystery is what it is."

Though trusting of her husband, Mrs. Masterson admitted she was having trouble believing his story. "It seems a little suspicious, the fact he can now breathe underwater," said Masterson. "When you turn out the lights, he glows like a

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