HOLLYWOOD HILLS, CA — Hollywood actresses are sounding the alarm over the undoing of Roe v. Wade , warning that if their right to abortion is stripped away they may have to hire expensive nannies to watch their unwanted children while they attend award shows.

"This is a disaster," said actress Jessica Chastain, who reads lines and occasionally disrobes onscreen in exchange for money and the occasional golden statue. "What will we do without our reproductive rights? THINK OF THE HOLLYWOOD STARS!"

"We aren't here for us," said actress Emma Watson. "We speak for less-fortunate B-list actresses who may only have a few million dollars, They risk missing awards shows, a fundamental human right, due to crippling childcare fees!"

Outside sources confirm that the Oscars, Golden Globes, and oth

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