CHICAGO, IL - Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot was seen running for her life this afternoon. Observers said that Lightfoot exploded into a frantic sprint after she saw Thomas Sowell approaching to interview her. According to sources, Lightfoot had recently said she "would only grant one-on-one interviews to journalists of color." Moments later Thomas Sowell crashed through a nearby wall in a fashion reminiscent of the Kool-Aid Man. Lightfoot, living up to her name, went into a mad dash and has not been seen since.
People at the scene said Sowell brushed the drywall dust off of his corduroy jacket and said, "It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong." He shrugged and most