England flies the flag – from a lamp post, covered in bird sh*t.

Across England, an extraordinary movement has taken hold: the mass stapling of £2 polyester flags to any publicly funded vertical surface. Many lamp posts, traffic lights and bus stops are now tangled in sagging St George’s crosses. Forget cricket and warm beer - the true test of patriotism in 2025 is how many metres of fraying polyester you can cable-tie above a roundabout.The England flag, once a symbol of jubilee celebrations and penalty shootouts, now finds itself pressed into the service of