SPRINGFIELD, Ill. — Intensive care nurse Harper Schlader was reportedly asking any of her patients currently in the ICU if they wanted to play a game called Slap the IV Bag, reported several witnesses to his erratic behavior.

“What the fuck is up, intensive care unit!” screamed Schlader into a microphone and amp that she brought to the unit. “We’ve got morphine drips for all of you so who’s ready to get this shit pumping fast and play Slap the IV Bag? If that doesn’t sound fun, I’m sure we can get a game of Morphine Pong going. Maybe we can also suck on a couple of alcohol swabs to really get our buzz going. I see you over there, Mr. Johnson, asking to play!”

The patients in this particular ICU were feeling pretty good after participating in Schlader’s shenanigans.

“I have never felt be

See Full Page