EVEN the most unassuming, rational men have a deep-seated hatred of asking for directions. Here is the physical pain they would gladly endure instead.

Wear nipple clamps

The pain of nipple clamps stops when your BDSM session is over, unlike your wife consulting a farmer for directions to the slip road for the A40. You’ll never forget being bested by a superior male. It’s the modern equivalent of medieval knights jousting and you’re on the floor covered in blood and shame.

Get kicked in the balls 50 times

Having one’s testicles battered until you’ve worryingly lost all feeling in them is emasculating. But it’s nothing compared to looking into another man’s mocking eyes as you confess you don’t know the way to Farnham for a wedding. It doesn’t matter that you’ve never been there before.

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