HI, Chris here, Coldplay’s lead singer, songwriter and spokesperson. The famous one. Even I’d struggle to pick out the rest of the band in a police line-up. Or name them in a pub quiz. The lucky anonymous bastards.

It’s been a summer of heatwaves so you’ve probably all been having barbies, burning some Tesco own brand sausages and drinking stubby bottles of French lager. I know I have. Plus I’m over that plant-based bollocks after giving Gwynnie the heave-ho. I’m all about steak now. Barely cooked. Overpowering taste of charcoal. Chef’s kiss.

My barbecues have been legendary. Huge guest lists, great atmosphere, cracking food. But there’s a problem. All we’ve heard about all summer is the barbecues Oasis have been throwing.

I don’t think it’s petty to point out that my barbecues are supe

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