How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I’m a 22-year-old cis straight guy and I recently tried ass play for the very first time. Nothing crazy—I just put a finger in my ass while I masturbated. It was a super spur of the moment thing because of how horny I was. My girlfriend is very excited to explore more, as I have previously turned down her requests for anal play. Our sex life is pretty kinky and I am the dominant partner and don’t enjoy switching. To me anal play feels more submissive. Do you have any ideas on how to explore anal for me well staying in the dominant role I enjoy?

—Anal Explorer

Dear Anal Explorer,

There are certainly ways to assert your dominance while also having

See Full Page