“Kill the Soulmate” and Save Your Relationship

Key points

Falling out of love happens when you don't prioritize passion.

There are three keys to great relationships and they can be learned.

You can fall in love again with your long term partner—but it takes effort.

Let me start with a confession: At 12 years old, I was absolutely convinced that Shaun Cassidy was my soulmate. This wasn't some casual crush—I was writing fan-fiction, breaking out in hives watching The Hardy Boys , and genuinely believing this TV heartthrob would find his way from Beverly Hills to my tiny Vancouver Island town and sweep me off my feet.

Spoiler alert: Shaun never showed up. Turns out he was not my soulmate after all.

Now, decades later, as a couples therapist who's worked with thousands of couples, I can tell you that my childhood obsession repres