The Ghost of What Might Have Been: A Unique Type of Grief

Key points

The holidays often elicit deep, complex, and nonlinear feelings about what might have been.

Understanding the nonlinear nature of grief can help us navigate grief experienced around the holidays.

An evolving and flexible understanding of grief allows us to better understand holiday grief.

Grief can be haunting not only in terms of what was but also in terms of what could have been. It is this unique type of grief—a cross between regret and unfulfillment—that often surfaces this time of year.

The reasons likely vary for this unique presentation of grief, but the trigger is shared: the immense seasonal pressure to experience joy, gratitude , happiness , and togetherness Perhaps it is social media comparison; perhaps, longstanding narratives and expectations about t