SEATTLE, WA - Starbucks has announced all its locations will permanently close so that employees can undergo sensitivity training on every possible situation.

"We just don't know when we can reopen," said a Starbucks spokesperson. "Our baristas need specific hand-holding instruction in every possible situation, and there are infinite possible situations they might find themselves in. So... yeah, it's gonna be a while."

Employees will take years and years of training courses so they can learn how to deal with tough situations, such as the following:

What to do if someone doesn't feel safe around police officers and wants you to ask them to leave

What do do if a homeless guy wants to shoot up in your bathroom

How to respond to a flash mob

How to ask politely for a customer to turn off

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