LIFE’S going okay for you here in Britain, so should you move to a hardline Islamic monarchy in the desert? We consider the pluses and the absolutely f**k nos:

PRO: No income tax

Imagine opening your payslip and the figure your employer pays you at the top and the figure you take home at the bottom…being the same? That’s what you’d see in Dubai where you’re not being robbed by the Starmer state.

WHAT THE F**K: Private schools and heathcare and security though

How thick do you have to be to exult in no tax then spend all your money on the stuff you get taxed for? Got kids? They’re at an international school for £20,000 a year. Each. Get ill? You’ll be paying through the nose for it. Train to work? Piss off.

PRO: Petrol’s only 50p a litre

No more rip-offs at the British petrol pump – o

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