Dear Lucas : What do I say to friends and coworkers that call me old (I’m 35) for reading a print newspaper?

Dear Reader : Roll up the newspaper and hit them over the head with it, reminding them that with enough pages, even paper can become a weapon. Preferably, use the Sunday paper so you get a little more oomph, and bonus points if one of my articles is on the front page of said paper.

Hopefully, they’re big readers of the company that signs my paycheck. If your coworkers get their news from a competitor of cleveland.com, tell your idiot colleagues to show up at 4800 Tiedeman Road and fight me, a 5’5” washed-up writer with a beer gut and a punchable face.

Perhaps they’re calling you old for other reasons. Could it be the bowl of Werther’s Originals at your desk? Or maybe it’s the w

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