Each week, exclusively for Slate Plus members , Prudie discusses a new letter with a fellow Slate colleague. Have a question for Prudie? Submit it here .

Dear Prudence,

I’ve had a best friend for over 20 years, and she was planning a big birthday trip for me for my 36th birthday, and then just … bailed at the very last minute.

She blamed my partner for not communicating clearly enough (I saw the messages, and I’m still confused as to how “I bought the hockey tickets; let me know transportation and hotels and book them and I’ll pay” is unclear), and blamed me for not understanding because her cat has diabetes. There were multiple offers to help out, and the cancellation was very last minute (I was under the impression everything was good to go).

Well, there’s a band playing

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