GOTHAM CITY — A foolish thief found himself in the hospital recovering from a dislocated shoulder, a fractured wrist, three broken ribs, and a shattered pelvis after foolishly trying to rob a bank in the same city where Batman lives.
Police identified the suspect as 28-year-old Steve Raffles, a caucasian male with no prior convictions. Unfortunately for him, the Caped Crusader doesn't care if it's someone's first offense. Raffles was reportedly found unconscious at the scene.
"In hindsight, I probably should've robbed a bank in Chicago," the suspect said. "I'm not even sure there are police in Chicago. It would have been easy."
Raffles was rushed to the emergency room in police custody after Batman reportedly leapt from the shadows and slammed into his chest with a flying kick, snapped

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