A “blesser” is typically an older, relatively wealthier man who provides a younger woman with money, gifts, school fees or lifestyle access in exchange for a relationship that includes sex. Similar arrangements exist around the world, often called “sugar-daddy” relationships, but the South African version is closely tied to extreme inequality, youth unemployment, and a culture in which conspicuous consumption carries strong social currency. As a result, “blesser” has become a mainstream, even aspirational term among some young women, particularly in urban settings.

South Africa ranks as the most unequal country in the world, characterised by high unemployment rates and poverty, especially among young people (aged 15-24). Getting a “blesser” is an opportunity to gain access to a new social level, and often includes tangibles such as smartphones, clothing and money.

On the surface, transactional relationships can feel like a shortcut to independence or status. However, new evidence shows that these relationships come at a high cost.

As a researcher in health economics, social medicine, psychology and mental health, I have been studying transactional sexual relationships in South Africa for a number of years.

In a recent study, my colleagues and I presented the first national analysis of how relationships with blessers shape sexual health outcomes for adolescent girls and young women in South Africa.

These relationships expose young women to interrelated risks, including HIV infection, early pregnancy and gender-based violence. The risks all interact and reinforce one another within contexts of inequality and limited agency.

These patterns mirror other recent data showing that adolescent girls and young women in South Africa are twice as likely to be living with HIV as their male peers. Research over the years has shown that the drivers of this gap include biological vulnerability, gender-power imbalances, economic dependence and age-disparate sexual partnerships.

Previous research has examined why young women enter relationships with a blesser, or has explored the associated risks in specific provinces. However, what has been missing is national-level data able to quantify the scale of the problem and compare different relationship types. Our findings paint a consistent picture: while blesser relationships may offer short-term rewards, the long-term consequences for health and wellbeing are severe.

Read more: Sex, money and love: what South African university students say about romance and dating in a material age

Transactional relationships

Transactional relationships include any partnership in which sex is exchanged, whether implicitly or explicitly, for material support, whether that support meets basic needs like food and transport or enables desirable extras like designer clothing or nights out. Blesser partnerships fall within this category.

In our latest study, we drew data from over 3,000 sexually active adolescent girls and young women in eight of South Africa’s nine provinces, in both rural and urban environments. We found that almost 6% of participants had had or were currently in a relationship with a blesser. Over 25% of the total had had or were in a relationship with an age-disparate partner (a partner five or more years older).

This incidence (5.7%) of having a blesser may look low. But it represents thousands of young women across the country involved in high-risk relationships at any given time.

We found that those engaged in both blesser and age-disparate relationships faced higher risks of HIV infection, sexually transmitted infections, intimate partner violence, and adolescent pregnancy than their peers not involved in such partnerships.

While same-age blesser relationships (and these were less prevalent) appeared somewhat less risky and were associated with higher reported condom use, age disparity emerged as a key driver of adverse outcomes, particularly pregnancy.

Read more: We asked Nigerian students about transactional sex on campus

The pathways to risk

Our studies show that the dangers of blesser relationships arise through several pathways:

  • Age and power imbalance: Older partners often dominate decision-making. As one participant explained, “When he says no condom, I can’t say no to him.”

  • Reduced condom negotiation: Financial or material dependence makes it difficult for young women to insist on safe sex.

  • Concurrency of partners: Blessers frequently have multiple sexual partners, raising the likelihood of HIV transmission.

  • Economic dependence: Reliance on a blesser can trap young women in relationships even when they feel unsafe or unhappy. “I wanted to leave, but then who would pay my fees?” said one young woman.

  • Social status pressures: Being seen with a blesser can carry prestige, encouraging peers to enter similar relationships without fully understanding the risks.

These pathways reveal why relationships with a blesser are potentially shaped by unequal structures of power, gender and economics that leave young women with limited room for manoeuvre.

The bigger picture

In 2024, we published a qualitative article that explored the push and pull of these relationships. This work added depth to our quantitative results. Some young women described relationships with blessers as empowering, offering access to resources and social visibility. But this empowerment was fragile.

Power imbalances meant that choices about sex, protection and fidelity often rested with the older partner, not the young woman. Study respondents spoke of initial excitement and aspiration: “At first, I felt like I had made it – nice clothes, nice places.” But over time, disillusion set in: “Eventually I realised it wasn’t really me who was in control.” Another young woman summed it up starkly: “A blesser gives with one hand and takes with the other.”

Transactional relationships are not just matters of individual choice. They are rooted in widespread poverty, unemployment, and entrenched gender norms. For many young women, having a blesser may feel like the only path to financial security, education, or social status.

But the risks are profound.

The HIV prevalence among adolescent girls and young women aged 15–24 years in South Africa is 6.9%, compared to 3.5% among males of the same age.

Unintended pregnancies disrupt education. In 2023, 12.1% of all births were to girls aged 10–19 and more than three-quarters were unplanned.

Violence undermines health, dignity and long-term opportunities.

What to do about it

Our research suggests several urgent priorities:

  • Young people need clear information about sexual health, power dynamics and rights.

  • Economic opportunities reduce dependence on blessers.

  • Safe spaces, mentoring and counselling help young women navigate relationships and build resilience.

  • Challenge harmful norms. Engaging men, families and communities to shift these norms is as important as supporting young women.

The real challenge lies in creating alternatives: secure livelihoods, equitable partnerships and supportive communities.

The blesser phenomenon is not a moral failing. No young woman should be forced to choose between short-term security and long-term wellbeing.

This article is republished from The Conversation, a nonprofit, independent news organization bringing you facts and trustworthy analysis to help you make sense of our complex world. It was written by: Gavin George, University of KwaZulu-Natal

Read more:

Gavin George does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.