'Mon Dieu!' wailed a curator from the Louvre. 'These jewels swiped from our museum were literally unique.'Just think, these Philistines took Brigitte Bardot's cat flap. How can we ever replace a national treasure like that?'And they stole Sir Stephen Fry - a British national treasure which was on loan to us from King Charles. They must have cut him up into pieces to get him through the Louvre window.'Quel dommage! Such damage! They will probably end up being sold for scrap.'Image credit: Be

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